I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them.Anonymous
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.Anonymous
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.Anonymous
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.Anonymous
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!Anonymous
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there.Anonymous
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!Anonymous
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples.Anonymous
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep.Anonymous
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!Anonymous
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