I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there.
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.
After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.
Me: "I need help around here!" Then me again "No, not like that, here I'll do it."
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you.
You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold.
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep.
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