The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. Anonymous
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. Anonymous
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. Anonymous
I don't know what's tighter, our jeans or our friendship. Anonymous
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. Anonymous
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous
If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them. Anonymous
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Anonymous
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." Anonymous
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous
If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand. Anonymous
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do. Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous
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