Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. - Anonymous
I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. Anonymous
Short Quotes
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
Sayings
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If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. - Anonymous
Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. - Anonymous
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Statements
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. - Anonymous
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. Anonymous
Facebook TV Quotes Time Quotes
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. - Anonymous
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes
It's so simple to be wise.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Wise Quotes
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Sayings
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. - Anonymous
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Think Quotes
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
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