Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. - Anonymous
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. - Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes Witty Quotes
I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once." - Anonymous
I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once." Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. - Anonymous
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Work Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. - Anonymous
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. - Anonymous
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes Short Quotes
A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. - Anonymous
A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous
Sayings
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