Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. - Anonymous
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. - Anonymous
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
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Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? - Anonymous
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Rita Rudner

Know Quotes Questions Think Quotes
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." - Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." Anonymous
Facebook Friend Quotes
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open. Frank Zappa
Sayings Short Quotes
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? - Anonymous
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? Anonymous
Questions
I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. - Anonymous
I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. - Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes Witty Quotes
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Wise Quotes
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. - Anonymous
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." - Anonymous
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
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