Top 100 Funny Quotes

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If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. - Anonymous
If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. Anonymous
Facebook People Quotes
When you fall, I will be there to catch you.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
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What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. - Anonymous
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I don't know what's tighter, our jeans or our friendship. - Anonymous
I don't know what's tighter, our jeans or our friendship. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Know Quotes Short Quotes
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. - Anonymous
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Anonymous
Phone Sayings Short Quotes
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. - Anonymous
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes
Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." - Anonymous
Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." Anonymous
Facebook Short Quotes
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Work Quotes
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. - Anonymous
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. Anonymous
Facebook TV Quotes Time Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous
Sayings
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
Animals TV Quotes Witty Quotes
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings
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