Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I'd just love to punch right in the face! - Anonymous
I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I'd just love to punch right in the face! Anonymous
Life Quotes Love Quotes People Quotes
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -Albert Einstein
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Love Quotes Man Quotes
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! - Anonymous
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes People Quotes
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I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. - Anonymous
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
Analogies Sleep Quotes
Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
Give me your photo so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich. - Violet Matters
When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.

Violet Matters

Eat Quotes Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. - Anonymous
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff. - Anonymous
Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes World Quotes
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Work Quotes
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. - Anonymous
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. - Anonymous
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes Short Quotes
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