Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!!
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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.
I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late.
Happiness does not have a price tag so smile.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
A joke is a very serious thing.
If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.
In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.
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