I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.
More Quotes by Anonymous
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
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