Anonymous Quote

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I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

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I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Short Life Know

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.

Short Analogies

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My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

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What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.

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I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.

I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.

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