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I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
Anonymous
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
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What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
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My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.
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My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.
Anonymous
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
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Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
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Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
Anonymous
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
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