I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.
More Quotes by Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.
My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.
I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
