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I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss. - Anonymous

I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

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I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.

I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Phone Questions

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. - Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. Anonymous

Animals Questions Top 100

My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. - Anonymous

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Anonymous

Analogies Short Quotes Top 100

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. - Anonymous

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. - Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. Anonymous

Facebook Life Quotes Work Quotes

I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing. - Anonymous

I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Stupid Quotes

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! - Anonymous

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous

Time Quotes Work Quotes

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Work Quotes

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. - Anonymous

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. Anonymous

Think Quotes Work Quotes

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day! Anonymous

Good Quotes Work Quotes

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck. Anonymous

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