Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.Joey Adams
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.Anonymous
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. Sam Levenson
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.Anonymous
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.Henny Youngman
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.Sigmund Freud
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.Anonymous
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.Woody Allen