Marriage Quotes

When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.

Anonymous

People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.

Anonymous

Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house.

Anonymous

I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.

Anonymous

Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?

Groucho Marx

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!

Anonymous

Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!

Anonymous

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer.

Anonymous

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more.

Anonymous

I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late.

Anonymous

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Maryon Pearson

Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable.

Anonymous

After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up.

Anonymous

Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!

Anonymous

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Anonymous

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

Helen Rowland