Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. Anonymous
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. Anonymous
It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins. Anonymous
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous
Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. Anonymous
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. Anonymous
My darling, this scenery makes me speechless. Husband: Perfect, we're setting up tent here. Anonymous
Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear. Anonymous