Anonymous Quote

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.

Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.

It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins.

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more.

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

My darling, this scenery makes me speechless. Husband: Perfect, we're setting up tent here.

Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.