Joey Adams Quote

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

Al Bundy (TV Show Married with Children)

Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?

Groucho Marx

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Benjamin Franklin

The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'

Anonymous

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Anonymous

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.

Helen Rowland

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.

Anonymous

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Maryon Pearson

Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer.

Anonymous

When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

Ogden Nash

I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it.

Anonymous

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other.

Anonymous