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There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.

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I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. Anonymous

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When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

Paddy O'Dea

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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry

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Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.

Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry. Anonymous

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Funny drinking quote - 24 hours day beer

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Steven Alexander Wright

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Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes. Anonymous

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Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. - Anonymous

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. Anonymous

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Facebook anonymous

I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!

Clinton Thomas

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Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.

Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion. Anonymous

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Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account. Anonymous

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How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous

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Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. - Anonymous

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. Anonymous

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Beer together

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it. Anonymous

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Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous

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The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Anonymous

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