Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work. Anonymous
Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes
I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games.
I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games. Anonymous
Computers Life Quotes
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. - Anonymous
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. Anonymous
Moments
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Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous
You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! - Anonymous
You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! Anonymous
Witty Quotes
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous
Moments Money Quotes
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. Anonymous
Computers Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. - Anonymous
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out? Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. - Anonymous
Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I don't care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive. Anonymous
Dear mathematicians: Stop asking us to find your x. She has a new boyfriend. Anonymous
Math Quotes Short Quotes
We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person. Anonymous

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