I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."
One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won't judge you.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
I love making friends. I usually prefer to make them out of plaster and give them funny looking hats.
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.
If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!
I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.
Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.
My imaginary friend thinks he has problems.
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.
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