Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you're talking and not hear a single word you said. Anonymous
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. - Anonymous
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. - Anonymous
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. Anonymous
Moments Money Quotes
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. - Anonymous
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Anonymous
Man Quotes Questions
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas. - Anonymous
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas. Anonymous
Drinking Life Quotes
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes
Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It's like the other vegetables aren't even trying. Anonymous
I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won't let me. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest. - Anonymous
I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. - Anonymous
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Anonymous
Sayings Witty Quotes Work Quotes
Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money. - Anonymous
Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

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