Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again.
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more.
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.
I'm as single as a one dollar bill, and I don't need any change.
I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them.
The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home!
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'
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