Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. - Anonymous
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
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Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? - Anonymous
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? Anonymous
Questions Top 100
People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?" Anonymous
Exercise Quotes
Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves. Anonymous
Sayings
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead. - Anonymous
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Money Quotes Wife Quotes
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. - Anonymous
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. Anonymous
Life Quotes Time Quotes Top 100
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. - Anonymous
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. - Anonymous
Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes
I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me. Anonymous
Facebook
I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. - Anonymous
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. Anonymous

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