Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.
I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night.
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running.
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.
Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake.
Happy New Year! Here's to another year of binge eating, Facebook surfing, and Netflix marathons.
The only exercise I've done this month is running... out of money!
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV.
When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
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