Anonymous Quote

That moment you're thankful for Coronavirus social distancing rules because you just ate some garlic.

Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.