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That moment you're thankful for Coronavirus social distancing rules because you just ate some garlic.
Anonymous
Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out.
Anonymous
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
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A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'
Anonymous
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
Anonymous
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous
Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right.
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"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?
Anonymous
If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!
Anonymous
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
Anonymous