Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry. Anonymous
Drinking Never Quotes Stupid Quotes
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. - Anonymous
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous
Phone Sayings Top 100
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Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. - Anonymous
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation? Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. - Anonymous
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes
Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone. - Anonymous
Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes Short Quotes
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. - Anonymous
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes People Quotes
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! - Anonymous
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! Anonymous
Facebook Top 100
Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. - Anonymous
Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys. Anonymous
Sayings
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. - Anonymous
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Top 100

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