Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more.
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. Sigmund Freud
I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late. Anonymous
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Anonymous
My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost. Anonymous
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house. Anonymous
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright
Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. Anonymous
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen