Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more.
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. Sigmund Freud
I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late. Anonymous
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Anonymous
My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost. Anonymous
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.