Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. - Anonymous
If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
Friendship is like peeing on yourself.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous
Analogies Friend Quotes Top 100
Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.
Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going. Anonymous
Sayings
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Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. - Anonymous
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. - Anonymous
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Top 100
Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. - Anonymous
Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! - Anonymous
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know they're there. - Anonymous
Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know they're there. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. - Anonymous
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. - Anonymous
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. - Anonymous
I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net. - Anonymous
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net. Anonymous
Internet Life Quotes Short Quotes

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