Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs...
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. Anonymous
Drinking Man Quotes Sayings
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty.
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes Money Quotes
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable. - Anonymous
Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
It was me, I let the dogs out. - Anonymous
It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that? - Anonymous
I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that? Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I would've never imaged going into a bank wearing a mask and asking the teller for money. Anonymous
Money Quotes
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. - Anonymous
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. - Anonymous
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. Anonymous
Sayings
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. - Anonymous
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Life is a pretty cheezy game, but at least it has good graphics. - Anonymous
Life is a pretty cheezy game, but at least it has good graphics. Anonymous
Computers Good Quotes Life Quotes
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
There's nothing better than good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate.
There's nothing better than a good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Friend Quotes Good Quotes
A person who always disturbs you is a person who loves you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

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