Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday. Anonymous
Short Quotes
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings
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I only want one thing from fake people: distance. - Anonymous
I only want one thing from fake people: distance. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. - Anonymous
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. - Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous
Top 100 Work Quotes
I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. - Anonymous
I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100
Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. - Anonymous
Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Dog Quotes
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Statements
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. - Anonymous
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes People Quotes
I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. - Anonymous
I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. Anonymous
Short Quotes
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. Anonymous
Phone Stupid Quotes Work Quotes
The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously. - Anonymous
The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. - Anonymous
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. Anonymous
Sayings

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