Money Quotes

When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.

I'm as single as a one dollar bill, and I don't need any change.

I would've never imaged going into a bank wearing a mask and asking the teller for money.

Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled.

I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars.

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet.

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.

I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.