Money Quotes

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Them: Money doesn't bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money.

What's your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.

They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves.

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."

I hate math... but I love counting money.

The only exercise I've done this month is running... out of money!

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.

I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house.