I wish my wallet came with free refills.
Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money.
All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go.
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Actual meanings of various terms: TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on. HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems. IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry. INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves.
I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.
Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.
Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money.
There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'
Jim Carey
Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet.
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
It doesn't matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.
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