Money Quotes

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.

I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was.

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money.

Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?

Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet.

In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.

Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

They say money doesn't solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

The only exercise I've done this month is running... out of money!

Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive.

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.