One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. Anonymous
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous