Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.Anonymous
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.Dave Barry
I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.Anonymous
They call it "fell asleep" but it should be more like "entered a mental state of regeneration."Anonymous
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!Anonymous
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.Anonymous
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.Anonymous
Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.Anonymous
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.Anonymous
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.Anonymous
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