Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. Charles M. Schulz
Life Quotes Short Quotes World Quotes
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Think Quotes
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. - Eric Morecambe
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Eric Morecambe

Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - Anonymous
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous
Know Quotes Moments Work Quotes
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Joey Adams
Love Quotes Never Quotes Sayings
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning. Anonymous
Moments Sleep Quotes
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs...
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. Anonymous
Drinking Man Quotes Sayings
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness.
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes
How was the dog's day? Ruff. - Anonymous
How was the dog's day? Ruff. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Statements
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous
Questions Sayings
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all. - David Letterman
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Sayings Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
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