Anonymous Quote

Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Anonymous

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Anonymous

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Anonymous

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Anonymous

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.

Anonymous

How was the dog's day? Ruff.

Anonymous

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting.

Anonymous

My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.

Anonymous

I took my dog to the fire hydrant factory. They never saw so much excitement every time a hydrant came off the assembly line.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.

Anonymous

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Anonymous

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.

Dave Barry

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

Doug Larson

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.

Anonymous

How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?

Anonymous

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

Anonymous

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

Anonymous

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

Anonymous

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

John Peer