Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready.
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal.
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
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