"Tomorrow is another day..." Oh sorry, I thought the world is ending today.
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today.
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic.
I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am..
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.
I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow.
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle.
Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it.
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.
Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.
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