Funny Animal Quotes

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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Eat Quotes Famous Quotes People Quotes
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. - Anonymous
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. Anonymous
In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. - Anonymous
In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. Anonymous
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You can teach a cat to do...
You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do. Anonymous
Cat Quotes Short Quotes
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Cat Quotes Computers Facebook
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. - Anonymous
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous
Cat Quotes Computers Questions
It was me, I let the dogs out. - Anonymous
It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade." - Anonymous
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade." Anonymous
Short Quotes
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Short Quotes
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Happiness is a long walk, with a dog. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Happy Quotes Short Quotes
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown

Top 100
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin
Short Quotes
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