Funny Animal Quotes

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Anonymous

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

Anonymous

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

Anonymous

I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Anonymous

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

Mark Twain

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.

Dave Barry

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you.

Anonymous

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.

Anonymous

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Anonymous

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.

Anonymous

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

Steven Alexander Wright

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval

Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot."

Anonymous

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel!

Anonymous

Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade."

Anonymous

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown