Funny Animal Quotes

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The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Happy Quotes Man Quotes Top 100

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval

Funny Tree Quotes Man Quotes Short Quotes

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Computers Questions

How was the dog's day? Ruff. - Anonymous

How was the dog's day? Ruff. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. - Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. Anonymous

Questions Top 100

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes

It was me, I let the dogs out. - Anonymous

It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle.

A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle. Anonymous

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. - Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry

Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade." - Anonymous

Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade." Anonymous

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it. - Anonymous

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it. Anonymous

Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home. - Anonymous

Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Dog Quotes Think Quotes

Kids: How come the closet is completely full of toilet paper? Me: We're getting 3 cats, we have to pad all the walls in the house. Anonymous

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.

Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Know Quotes Never Quotes

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Short Quotes

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Eat Quotes Famous Quotes People Quotes

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. - Anonymous

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top.

To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top. Anonymous

Funny Tree Quotes Good Quotes

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better! Anonymous

Eat Quotes Good Quotes Top 100

Displayed 25-48 of 61 quotes.