Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
More Quotes by Dave Barry
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting.
How was the dog's day? Ruff.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.
I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees
Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until Enzo Ferrari made him angry.
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
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