Funny Animal Quotes

Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.

Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it.

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.

To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

Kids: How come the closet is completely full of toilet paper? Me: We're getting 3 cats, we have to pad all the walls in the house.

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.