Funny Animal Quotes

Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home.

Anonymous

Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.

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In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back.

Anonymous

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'

Anonymous

Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."

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Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.

Anonymous

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

Anonymous

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

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To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top.

Anonymous

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.

Anonymous

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

John Peer

A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.

Anonymous

I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!

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A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'

Anonymous

If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

Anonymous

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it.

Anonymous

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Anonymous

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Lily Tomlin