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To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.

To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.

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Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

John Peer

The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.

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Statements

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours?

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. - Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

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How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?

You can trust your dog to guard your house.

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.

Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly!

Stupid Quotes

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom. - Anonymous

I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.

Out of my mind! Back in five minutes.

Out of my mind! Back in five minutes.

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting.

How was the dog's day? Ruff. - Anonymous

How was the dog's day? Ruff.

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.

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