I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
More Quotes by A. Whitney Brown
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.
You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do.
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys.
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah.
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.
You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel!
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples.
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot."
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
Love is like playing bridge, if you don't have a good partner, it's good to at least have a good hand.
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
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