Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck. Anonymous
Work Quotes
In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency notify:"I put "Doctor." - Anonymous
In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency notify:"I put "Doctor." Anonymous
Witty Quotes
Please cancel my subscription to your issues. - Anonymous
Please cancel my subscription to your issues. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
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A UFO!? Quick, grab the worst camera we own.
A UFO!? Quick, grab the worst camera we own. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous
Sayings
I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." - Anonymous
I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." Anonymous
Statements Work Quotes
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit. Anonymous
I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! Anonymous
My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop. - Anonymous
My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
How do I like my eggs? In a cake. - Anonymous
How do I like my eggs? In a cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching.
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? - Anonymous
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. - Anonymous
What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes

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