Anonymous Quote

I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.

Anonymous

What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.

Anonymous

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Anonymous

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Anonymous

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Anonymous

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Anonymous

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Groucho Marx

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

Steven Alexander Wright

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.

Anonymous

There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'

Jim Carey

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Albert Einstein

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Steven Alexander Wright

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

Benjamin Franklin

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com