Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money.
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
Naked Gun (Movie)
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
Pablo Picasso
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
