Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike, fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle. Adult injuries: Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. - Anonymous
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. Anonymous
People Quotes Phone Short Quotes
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. - Anonymous
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. Anonymous
Analogies Never Quotes Short Quotes
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I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. - Anonymous
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. Anonymous
Think Quotes Work Quotes
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs...
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. Anonymous
Drinking Man Quotes Sayings
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. - Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous
Top 100 Work Quotes
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." - Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." Anonymous
Facebook Friend Quotes Top 100
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous
Animals Sayings Short Quotes
My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after. - Anonymous
My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. Anonymous
Animals
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
Animals TV Quotes Top 100

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