Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. - Anonymous
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Did you know "DIET" stands for "Did I Eat That?" Anonymous
Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes
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Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? - Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Phone
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep. - Anonymous
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Top 100
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. - Anonymous
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. - Anonymous
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. - Anonymous
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. - Anonymous
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes
A relationship with a best friend is like a sugarcane... You can crush it, shred it, grind it, squeeze it and it's still sweet. - Anonymous
A relationship with a best friend is like a sugarcane... You can crush it, shred it, grind it, squeeze it and it's still sweet. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Statements
That annoying moment when you're texting someone and auto-correct decides to join the conversation. Anonymous
Moments
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

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