Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.
More Quotes by Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!
A day without coffee is like something without something.
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.
If every day is a gift, then today I got socks.
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Another fine day ruined by responsibilities...
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day.
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake.
Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.
When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
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