Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious. - Anonymous
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. - Anonymous
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
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Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us. - Anonymous
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Top 100
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes Witty Quotes
If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday! - Anonymous
If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday! Anonymous
Work Quotes
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
You and I are really more than friends. We're like a really small gang. - Anonymous
You and I are really more than friends. We're like a really small gang. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. - Anonymous
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. Anonymous
Questions Time Quotes Top 100
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. - Anonymous
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100
Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.
Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike, fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle. Adult injuries: Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard. Anonymous
Life Quotes

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