Anonymous Funny Quotes
A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.
Anonymous
Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight.
Anonymous
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Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board.
Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills.
Anonymous
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.
Anonymous
In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.
Anonymous
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!
Anonymous