Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Top 100 Wife Quotes
I can't wait for that to never happen. - Anonymous
I can't wait for that to never happen. Anonymous
Never Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion.
Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Witty Quotes
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Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board. - Anonymous
Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board. Anonymous
Life Quotes
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. - Anonymous
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. - Anonymous
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. - Anonymous
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. Anonymous
TV Quotes
You can teach a cat to do...
You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. - Anonymous
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Think Quotes
In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.
In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'. Anonymous
Top 100
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes
I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate. - Anonymous
I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you. Anonymous
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