Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. - Anonymous
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
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When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. - Anonymous
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. - Anonymous
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Anonymous
Phone Sayings Short Quotes
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. - Anonymous
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. - Anonymous
The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Friendship is like peeing on yourself.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous
Analogies Friend Quotes Top 100
When there's a will, I want to be in it. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Statements
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge. Anonymous
Drinking Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes
I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. - Anonymous
I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. - Anonymous
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Top 100

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