Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous
Analogies Friend Quotes Top 100
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! - Anonymous
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Sayings
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Be warned: I'm bored. This could get dangerous. - Anonymous
Be warned: I'm bored. This could get dangerous. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I only want one thing from fake people: distance. - Anonymous
I only want one thing from fake people: distance. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. - Anonymous
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen. - Anonymous
Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Know Quotes
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. - Anonymous
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. - Anonymous
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
One day you're 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you're 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice. - Anonymous
One day you're 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you're 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep. - Anonymous
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep. Anonymous
Computers Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. - Anonymous
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. Anonymous
Love Quotes
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. - Anonymous
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

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