Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone.
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!'
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