Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? - Anonymous
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
You can trust your dog to guard your house.
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
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That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. - Anonymous
That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. Anonymous
Moments
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart. - Anonymous
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings
Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable. - Anonymous
Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime. - Anonymous
Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Life Quotes Top 100
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. - Anonymous
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Work Quotes
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Stupid Quotes
If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand. - Anonymous
If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Questions
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. - Anonymous
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. - Anonymous
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. Anonymous
Moments Top 100
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. - Anonymous
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. Anonymous
People Quotes Phone Short Quotes
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. - Anonymous
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. Anonymous
Sayings

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