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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.

I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.

I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.

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I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you."

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.

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I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.

Short Quotes Sayings

I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.

Short Quotes Sayings

The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country.

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If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

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