Funny Statements

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country.

Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that."

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.

I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.