I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Anonymous
I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." Anonymous
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. Anonymous
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Anonymous
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.
Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. Anonymous
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement. Anonymous
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. Steven Alexander Wright
Displayed 25-48 of 50 quotes.