Funny Statements

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Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous

Money Quotes Time Quotes Top 100

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. - Anonymous

I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. Anonymous

I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.

I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg. Anonymous

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. - Anonymous

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. - Anonymous

I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. - Anonymous

Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. Anonymous

Never Quotes Time Quotes

Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck

If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. - Anonymous

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. Anonymous

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it! Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. - Anonymous

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

A misty day does not signify a cloudy day, it signifies frizzy hair.

A misty day does not signify a cloudy day, it signifies frizzy hair. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

People Quotes Think Quotes

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. Steven Alexander Wright

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement. Anonymous

I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." - Anonymous

I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." Anonymous

When there's a will, I want to be in it. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." - Anonymous

I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." Anonymous

It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous

The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. - Anonymous

The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. Anonymous

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