Funny Statements

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I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." - Anonymous

I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." Anonymous

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

People Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. Steven Alexander Wright

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I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. - Anonymous

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes

I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. - Anonymous

I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. Anonymous

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Moments

I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. - Anonymous

I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.

I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg. Anonymous

If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck

I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now. - Anonymous

I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." - Anonymous

I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." Anonymous

When there's a will, I want to be in it. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. - Anonymous

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. Anonymous

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When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.

Bernard Bailey

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous

Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. - Anonymous

Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. Anonymous

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement. Anonymous

The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

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