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One day you're 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you're 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice. - Anonymous

One day you're 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you're 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

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I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous

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All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous

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Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. - Anonymous

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. Anonymous

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An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous

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I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. - Anonymous

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous

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Nutrition labels should include an "What if I ate the whole thing" section. Anonymous

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There should be a calorie refund for food that didn't taste as good as you expected. Anonymous

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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain

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Growing up is amazing, until you get old! Anonymous

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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry

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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. - Henny Youngman

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman

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