Top 100 Funny Quotes

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When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. - Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. - Anonymous
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. - Anonymous
A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck! Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Statements
After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up.
After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. - Anonymous
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Phone Short Quotes
I wish my wallet came with free refills. - Anonymous
I wish my wallet came with free refills. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. - Anonymous
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. - Anonymous
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Know Quotes
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Money Quotes Statements Time Quotes
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Know Quotes Life Quotes
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